I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
