so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
