I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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