I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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