My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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