New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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