Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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