Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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