Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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