Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
