i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
