1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
3pm strippers are depressing
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
