I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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