all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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