all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
