these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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