Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize