i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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