well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Randomize
