So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
