if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize