At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
