i think i have herpe
just one?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
