areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
