I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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