How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
