belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
