Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
