I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
