He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
