i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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