I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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