So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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