Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
