Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
tell me about the eggs
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
