You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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