Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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