I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
