Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize