This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
