I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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