We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
