You just made me feel so damn special
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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