it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Randomize
