He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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