Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
