my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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