we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
