Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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