So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
