You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
