I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
