I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
