I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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