Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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