I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
