Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
