my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Buhtt sex?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
