I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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