I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize