just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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