Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
