At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
