its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
