So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
now i know why i became what i already was.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
