I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
