I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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