do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize